Where to start?

     What's high school like walking in everyday knowing you're starred down and constantly looked at for things that are thought about you that are hatred? I've felt alone for the last few years of high school and have never had a chance to make that real group of friends that you hang out with every Friday and Saturday night. Senior year has begun and honestly I've never had such a difficulty with making friends or even fitting in. Moving here was almost a mistake, but if I hadn't moved here I wouldn't be where I stand now in my faith, relationships with my family and a few others. The ending of my Junior year struck me hard knowing that everything for me would be difficult my senior year. I had lost a friend I had known for years in a car accident March 15, 2011 due to drinking and driving. Ever since then, I've never been so hard on myself about that type of stuff, let alone the friends I do have. Later that week, after loosing Savannah, I had surgery that has left me with a painful scar that will last my entire life. However, knowing I lost Ashley to the same reason I had surgery, but was cured and healthy now makes me sad and truly makes me see God as someone who is truly good. The fight Ashley put on a fight that no one will ever compare to. On top of loosing friends and not having the friends I need in high school, I'm in a battle I'll never win with my dad. Through everything I see this as God using me to grow in my faith and testimony to share with others, but it's so hard to when a picture of me is painted that isn't true. I've always been the girl to live a dual life, I know where to draw my boundaries with my activities I'm involved with on my weekends, but have a constant belief in God and know He's my Savior.
     After all is set and done, I've realized I've given my heart to someone that truly touches me in the strangest ways. I hate knowing this person has made me so happy and doesn't make me feel so lonely because I know he's there and listening. This isn't one of those romantic lovey dovey relationships, but one that's different, yet extraordinary from others. We have our ups and downs on occasions, but that's expected for any relationship, I guess.
     This post was directed to tell you about me and for you to see who I am behind each post I post throughout the upcoming trials of my life. The new chapter of my life won't start til May 31st, the day I graduate high school, but the faster I get out of this place I'm suppose to call my school or home of peace, I'll be able to create my own life style without the bogging down of my past or people painting a negative picture. Life's life and God created it for a reason, I just haven't discovered my purpose, but when I find out what it is, I'll make sure to post! :) Night Bloggers.